Fall for Orleans

[excerpted from original kolumn - date approximate]

There I was, gracefully not writing my column, not even really all that annoyed at anything, when I discovered the existence of the (then-impending, now thankfully just another bitter regret) “Fall For Orleans” weekend.

I’ll come right to the point: it’s a dumb name for a weekend.

The whole idea of naming weekends is dumb, but even if it was a really good idea, “Fall For Orleans” would still stand out as a particularly dumb name for one.

It just doesn’t have the zip of any of the great local names for brief periods of time from the past, such as Eastham’s “Windmill Weekend” or Harwich’s “Cranberry whatever-it-was”, and I feel strongly that the person that named it that should be sent to labor camp over the bridge somewhere or should at least not be allowed to name things any more. They should hear a discouraging word and soon.